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Phazed From Haze ( the Gooooood shit )
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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in Patrick's LiveJournal:

Monday, January 18th, 2010
11:01 am
I miss you
Yeah you

Current Mood: sad
Friday, December 25th, 2009
9:46 am
Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Current Mood: ecstatic
Sunday, December 20th, 2009
6:12 pm
Picture Frame
Wondering is endless
And Fantasy is Plain
What we carry with us
Always remains the same
Thoughtless Patterns
But never in vain
We show true Colors
We use our brain
Fight the Fight
I want to Reclaim
Our daily Struggles
I need to Proclaim
Flustered yet Focused
we can't lose aim
Time remains endless
And on burns the flame
Life has gone on
With nothing but Shame
Yet we keep on truckin'
Seeking the same Fame
Leave this on the Mantle
In this perfect Picture Frame

Current Mood: optimistic
1:32 am
I kept walking
I climb the unknown
not knowing where it leads
my legs keep trucking
Autopilot set
it goes on like this forever
with every given step
The path that lies here
an unforgiving end
I kept walking

over this mountain
and through these woods
every turn remains the same
circling the unknown
my mind grows numb
with repitition of thy self
I kept walking

tunnel vision
of Natures path
lead to one unknown
people pitter
and people patter
not knowing the full concept
they stop, they look
they don't understand
yet I kept walking

Standing still
as I walk on by
people look, and people listen
the wonder what I see
they again stop
is life real?
is life projected?
is life.... life?
I kept walking

Society has paved it's way
in this world unknown
you may follow, you may stray
just know that I kept walking...

Current Mood: giddy
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
6:53 pm
uh... yeah
If life is like a box of chocolates... I must have a bunch of shitty chocolate.

Life itself, for me anyhow, has seemed to come to a stop on august 5th. And has yet to regain it's movement. Finding a Job is proving to be impossible, and the court date got pushed all the way back to July 1st. Being broke has not been fun by any means. I've been trying to sell all my stuff, which I don't really want to sell, But I have absolutly no means for getting cash. My Debt is crazy, My credit is ruined, And for what? so a billion dollar company can save a few dollars of comp money because I decided to accidently cut myself? and they don't wanna pay me for it? My Lawyer says I WILL win my case, and expects them to settle out of court before July, So hopefully that happens quicker than I'm thinking.

Anymore I'm feeling like a shell of myself. I can't bring myself to smile anymore, I can't think positive anymore. Shits just going downhill quick, too quick for me. I'm depressed as hell.

That's just not me... I always smile, always. I always think positive. I never let my feelings get the best of me. And now I sit a Broken Man
Saturday, September 6th, 2008
9:44 pm
it's time
To start climbing that mother fuckin ladder. Fuckin one fuckin rung at a mother fuckin time. It's time to Climb that shit
Friday, August 29th, 2008
1:37 pm
and to add on
I also got fired... so now I'm Jobless, can't currently work, drained all my funds so I'm now broker than fuck. So all in all, now I'm depressed as fuck and don't know what I'm going to do.
Monday, August 18th, 2008
11:41 pm
and well
then I hack my finger and had surgery. isn't life grand
Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
10:17 am
Well, I know I never ever update, so this will most likely be short and all, even though I really have 8 million tons of shit on my mind.

As of Late, I have let life get the best of me. My emotions are a bloody mess. My Life, well it's not going anywhere. But It is getting the best of me. I'm not even sure of a solution, I'm not even sure if there's truely a problem. I'm lost, absolutly lost. My decision making lately has been awful, more or less choosing the wrong path. I don't mean for it to be that way, but it's all sliding downhill. I have so many problems on the back burner, I choose to ignore and try to drink away my sorrows, slowly coming into what I used to be and what I wanted to get away from. It's no solution, it's just more of a problem. Which way is up? I'll be 25 here in the next few days, and I look back at what I have, and what I have done, and where I'm going, And am just left wondering why? I have gone no where, I have done nothing, and it shows. I still live at home, I have enough money to move out, yet something is holding me back. I thought my trip to vegas would open my mind in a positive way, and it did while I was there. When I came back, I realized the truth. I am nothing, I feel like nothing. I just don't know what to say anymore, take it for what it is. I'm a depressed fuck...
Sunday, January 6th, 2008
3:40 pm
What my name means?
What Patrick Means

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.
Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
11:41 pm
I've needed someone to talk to for a few weeks now. the people that have been available, aren't exactly ones I could discuss these problems with. I just don't know what to do. someone enlighten me!
Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
2:27 pm
as my life turns
I've been a fuckin wreck as of late. It sucks, But what can ya do? I've come to a point in my life, where it almost feels like I'm near the bottom. I know everything I'm dealing with, Really isn't all that bad. But I don't think I've ever been this unhappy in my life. Ever since Maria and I broke up, I've just been down. It really doesn't have anything to do with being in the relationship, But I've come to terms with he fact that other than my family, And Maria, I don't really have any friends around here. I sit at home for like 99% of the time that I'm not working. It gets lonely, it gets boring. I end up thinking way to much, and just wondering where the next curve is in this fucked up thing called life. No one seems to understand just how unhappy I am, then again I hide it well. I try to hang out with Maria as "friends" but then it goes in directions I don't want it to go. Which in the long term, just fucks with me more. I just wanna be done with it all. I'm tired of pretending I'm happy, when I'm not. And I don't know how much longer I can do it. I Wish I could get into the city more often, but it's hard to do for me, seeing as how I don't drive. Eric would come pick me up, but he has no car. Then again, even if I did drive, it'd be ass loads of money to travel back n forth. I'm contemplating moving back to the city, but then how would I get to work? Or would I be able to find something quick enough to keep me there and yadda yadda. I don't know, Maybe I overreact to my situation. But I don't know how else to go about it. I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens.

Current Mood: blah
Saturday, October 6th, 2007
8:54 pm
fire.... water....
Smoke in the air like water underground,
the fire is burning, calm water sound,
sounds so complex, but yet so profound,
take a walk with me, look around.

Graze upon the wilted meadows,
Froluck with me, be callow.
Enjoy the time in which it follows
we can't relax, we must not wallow.

short, sweet, and to the point. if you understand it's message

Current Mood: awake
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
8:47 pm
I'll be old tomorrow. So yeah, buy me stuff
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
8:32 pm
Now, I can understand excitement about seeing a family member that lives miles away. But does that give the person the right to be ignorant to me? Does it give reason to be selfish? does it give reason to invade MY privacy? Does it give reason to be disrespectful? lovely girlfriend i got. I'm pissed... well beyond pissed, I let it slide for about a week, but today pushed it, and I'm not gonna take it anymore.
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
6:02 pm
beats me
Darkness is the Vision of me
Darkness is the Thoughts of me
Darkness is the Voice of me
Darkness is the Picture of me
Darkness, is... me

The happy apple
is the apple
of all the happy apples
that are happy
apple this and happy that
these apples make me happy
Happy apples for a happy apple eating me

The Twilight of the baby
is as golden as can be
it hails of great passion
and greatly accepts me

Current Mood: calm
Friday, September 30th, 2005
2:47 pm
long time.... here we go now
Shadows hide the fears inside of me
only letting light in when I ask
This darkness that falls upon me
is the comfort in which I bask
so dim and demented is the way my mind works
perhaps I will be your light at the end of your given task
confused by the sorrows and happiness of life
we all tend to fall behind our mask
in which will rid of all that is evil
and we'll cherish the mind like a woman's basque
so tight, thrilling, and compasionate
It's my time at last

think about it.........

Current Mood: confused
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
5:54 pm
To all my killers and my hundred dollar billers…
To emo kids that got too many feelings…

He held the register open while he counted her change
I was next in line which meant I was invisible
From where I stood I could see that the till was full
He didn’t look the type to play superhero
So I stepped forth and paid for my cigarettes
Crept out the stores front door to chase a little breath
Fangles in my head, shake the song off
Another manic Monday night, its gonna be a long walk
A car pulled up, a fixed up cutlass
A woman and a child climbed out and left it running
They went inside of the deli, placed an order
With the extra dollar fifty bottled water cuz the daughters picky
When they came out mommy gave me a glance
That said man can love an angel but he’s got to take the chance
Already knew the deal, I lit one up and walk
So they got back in the oldsmobile, belted up, and took off
Thug love on the corner by the walgreens
Lookin at me like I’m just another square saltine
As I get closer I notice that they showin each other sketches
Out of their notebooks, reminded me of my old roots
I walk pass with a nod and a reminisce
Swear to god hip hop and comic books was my genesis
Respect the life and the fashions of the children
It’s the only culture I’ve got, exactly what we’ve been buildin
All of a sudden I’m in front of some man
No he’s a youngin but he’s got a gun in his hand
He looks fifteen, he looks frantic, no he looks afraid
Immediately apprehensive til I heard him say
“Do you want this It’s not mine I promise
I found it on my block in between a couple garages
Didn’t wanna leave it for a child to stumble over
I don’t even know how to hold it.”
It was a thirty eight, the poor mans machete
Held it in my hand, thinking damn man it’s heavier then expected,
wedged it behind my belt buckle
knowin that its evil, even thought that I could smell trouble
the extra strength felt weak,
but over there on the corner saw what I needed and proceeded to cross the street
put the heat in the mail box to loose it
figured that the post office knows whats best to do with it
Mosey down the road thinkin’ bout the old
I use to roam this zone with two feet of snow
Right here, this use to be a record shop
I’ve gotten love, I’ve gotten drunk, I’ve gotten beat up in that parking lot
I’ve had my lake street pride for three decades
These alleyways, and these streetlights have seen my best days
Before I was a germ learnin how to misbehave,
All the way to the grave, south side is my resting place
Took a right on Lindale I’m getting near
But then the road became empty and the people disappear’d
The clowds ran away, opened up the sky
And one by one I watched every constellation die
And there I was frozen, standin in my backyard
Face to face, eye to eye, starin at the last star
I should’ve known, walked all the way home
To find that she wasn’t here, I’m still all alone

No matter where I am, no matter what I do
I’m always coming back home to you

They can leave me for dead they can take away my true
I’m always coming back home to you

Through the lies and the sins that ride the wind that blew
I’m always coming back home to you

As sure as the life in the garden that you grew
I’m always coming back home to you

No matter where I am, no matter what I do
I’m always coming back home to you

If only I had known what you already knew
I’m always coming back home to you

From the heaven I’ve had to the hell I been through
I’m always coming back home to you

I’m always coming back home to you

Current Mood: amused
Monday, October 25th, 2004
8:49 am
Bored off my fuckin ass
Name? Patrick Colin
Age? 21.
Height? 5'10
Weight? fresh off the scale, and BAM 172. That fuckin owns, this time last year I was like 220 so HA!
Birthday? 7/26/83
Birthplace? Philadelphia, Pa
Current Location? Levittown, Pa
School/Grade? School? What's that?
Zodiac Sign? Leo
Chinese Zodiac Sign? not sure
Righty or Lefty? Righty.
Haircolor? Blonde....couldn't ya tell?
Eyecolor? Blue, Sometimes a greyish color, and sometimes hazel.... mostly blue though
Skin Color? White.

About You
What's Your Family Situation (Parents, Siblings, etc)? Mother, Father, Brother, Sister
Any Pets? yep
If So What Are They? 2 Cats
Favorite Relative? My Grandmother/Granny is what we call her :P
Least Favorite Relative? My aunt caroline
What's Your Heritage/Race? Irish, Italian, and German
Political Affilation? Fuck Politics

Love & Sex
Sexuality? Straight?
Are You In A Relationship Now? Nope
If So, With Whom? -
For How Long? -
Are You In Love? nadda
Do You Have A Crush On Anyone? eh.... not really
Ever Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex? nope
How Old Were You When You Had Your First Kiss? 12 I think, Maybe 13
Virgin? I wish
If Not, How Old Were You When You Had Sex For The First Time? 17
Was It Enjoyable? well... i can't say it was bad? so yeah I guess it was good, i enjoyed it. haha
What's The Farthest You've Ever Gone? not far enough? haha Most people should know what "I" mean
Where Do You Most Like To Be Kissed? uhhh.... on my lips I guess?
Best Love Quote? Romance is MISERY

Your Friends
Best? Adam, Kev (Grim) Shan, Gail
How Many Do You Have? like 5 that actually chill with me
More Guys Or Girls? Penis fest! I can't get girls even if I try
Love Them All? yeah...
Any You Wish You Were Closer To? Gail
Oldest? Gail... she's like my 2nd Mother, I love her to death, she takes care of me
Newest? Joe
Pen Pal? -
Friends And Words: huh?
Pen I always have a pen and paper on me just incase I wanna write someting
Flower Gail, I give Gail flowers all the time
Pink Nikki likes pink.... I like HER pink :x haha I didn't say it!
Window uhhh
Heart hmmm
Mother gail
Bread my sister?
Insane Crystal.
Sunglasses none of em wear sunglasses
Pimp I'm a motherfuckin P-I-M-P.
Cross huh?
Lonely ME!
Car Adam
Music Everyone I guess

This Or That
Boxers or Briefs? Both... Combined!
Thongs or G-Strings? Thongs. uhh... but on women?
Shorts or Pants? Pants
Shoes or Barefeet? Shoes... this ain't the south :x
Books or Movies? Books because I'm not much of a movie person
Night or Day? Night.
Dark or Light? Dark
Mountains or Beach? Mountains
Snow or Sun? Snow.
Pepsi or Coke? pepsi
Guys or Girls? GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
Swim or Surf? Swim.

For or Against
Gay Marriage? All For it
Abortion? Pro Choice bitch!
Bush Getting Re-elected? Fuck Bush!
Suicide? well... the world is overpopulated...some people should kill themselves to help the rest of the planet
War? Against.
Pants? for?
Clothes In General? clothes are good
Penises? fuck that, only my penis because it's so large and all ( it's really tiny, don't believe my lies)

Color? Green, Black
Number? 11
Holiday? 420 day bitches!
Season? FALL
Movie? Escape from alcatraz, Alcatraz, American history X, Big money hustlas
Book? hmmm, That's a hard one
Magazine? Hightimes....duh
Food? Pasta
Drink? Gatorade
TV Show? The New Detectives
Song? Right now.... Climbing by Blaze
Band? the psychopathic CREW
Computer Game? Warcraft... all of em
Video Game? Madden
Anime/Manga? huh?
Shirt? My new ICP one
Pants? My Black ones with the skull design down the leg
Actor? blah
Actress? Angelina Jolie.
Singer? Michael akerfeldt from Opeth. Michael Patton from mr bungle, fantomas, tomahawk, faith no more, and many more
Flower? Daisy
Scent? Curve is what I always smell like, that or drakkar
Animal? kitties

The Future
Want To Go To College? Yes
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up? a forensic scientist
Want To Get Married? eh, at some point
Want To Have Kids? eventually
What Would Their Names Be? Colin!
How Many? I dunno
Where Do You Want To Live? Beats me
Where Do You Want To Get Married? i dunno somewhere outside
How Do You Want To Die? However i suppose to?

More Stuff About You
Piercings? none
Tattoos? I want this fucked up lookin leperchaun, it looks so phat
Smoke? yep
Drink? yep
Do Drugs? yep
Skinny Dip? who wants to go?
Greatest Fear? Getting raped in prison
Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
Go To Church? Fuck no
Religion? Whatever i want it to be
Scars? I have tons, it's sick
CDs Owned? a few hundred
Collections? eh
Like To Be Naked? yep yep I do
Ever Eaten Sushi? ick
An Entire Case Of Oreos? hydroxies... same thing just Keebler's version... you know... the ORIGINAL!
Been On Stage? fuckin right and it was great
Danced In The Rain? I love the rain
Kissed Someone Of The Same Sex? nah
Weirdest Dream? eh
Best Dream? eh, probably a wet one? haha
Saddest Dream? eh
Dream You Most Wish Would Come True? eh
Think You're Attractive? if your into the scruffy bummy look. But me, no i'm an ugly fuck
Shoplifted? when I was younger
Been Caught "Doing Something"? never
Weirdest Makeout Place? dunno
Like Thunderstorms? yep
Favorite Shoes? My 6-inch-metal-heeled boots. my all white Adios... they're pimp as fuck
Favorite Quote? blah
Best Advice Given? " be yourself " "stay away from Laura" to bad I didn't listen :x
Worst Advice Given? dunno
Favorite Song Lyric? haha... " We had good intentions maybe bad ideas, like fuckin fine neden's laced with gonerhea "(sp?)
What Quote Says Most About Your Life? blah
Glad This Is Over? yep

Current Mood: bitchy
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